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Another Bittersweet Day Incoming…

March 11, 2010

As I sit here I am finding that I am having a hard time not bursting out into tears. I failed miserably yesterday and I am hoping that I wont be doing more of the same today, but the tears are threatening more frequently today than they were yesterday.

Its not that I am regretting my decision. I know in my heart that it is the right time for all of us. That it is time for me to be out there making my move on the world sort to speak. And I couldn’t have asked for a better job. Its all there for me, a new horizon.

But in my heart I am here with my girls. I can feel the sunshine on my face as I watch them run in the park on a sunny summers afternoon. Little did I know that last summer was going to be the last for us. This summer will be different, better in a lot of ways as we wont be limited by money, only time. To be honest I am not sure what is worse.

Well yes I do. Money can be made, time with my ever-growing girls cant. Its there and its gone.

I have spent the last four and a half years being there with them every step of the way and in some ways I feel like I am abandoning them. We have laughed and cried together. Done the mother and daughter things that you hear about. And now Im headed back to the saddle of working full time.

But I have done what I set out to do. Give them a good strong head start. They have the strength and skills I have taught them. They are ready to fly on their own without Momma bird so close. They know I am there, right behind them, and only a phone call away. They are happy for me and for themselves.

They will be fine. And so will I.

I blinked, and suddenly the years were gone, but the memories we made girls, will forever live on.

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