Sad and Confused.

I will warn everyone who takes the time to read this blog (and ones that come over the next few days) that it will probably be a rambling one that is going to be confusing at best and will span a decade at least of thoughts.

I am feeling sad and confused right now because I received some terrible and tragic news this evening while out at a friends birthday party. And the whole thing has left me sad and confused.

I found out that my ex passed away today. And truth be told I really dont know how I feel about it.

He had just turned 33 years old on the 7th. And I hadnt seen him in almost eight years. The last time I had seen him I wouldnt even let him in my apartment.

The whole thing is so confusing because I am not sure how I feel or really how I should feel about it. He wasnt the greatest person when we were together but at the same time I devoted three years of my life to him. I tried to build a family with him.

But at the same time it was almost a decade ago, and it was a different point in my life. A point that I have moved well beyond. I am not the same person I was back in those days.

Everything is so much a jumble in my head right at the moment. I am trying to get through it all but nothing seems to be coming out right at the moment so I will try again in the morning to see where I get with it all.

Bear with me folks.

Until tomorrow….

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