Crossroads

I seem to be at an emotional crossroads in my life. So much is right in my life and yet so much remains unanswered for. I live with demons from the past that still come back to haunt me every now and again. So many things I’ve seen and done. So much heart ache and tears. Most of it has been left unanswered for.

But despite it all I have risen up and made a good life for myself and my family. I have driven myself to a point where happiness is a daily reality. I have had a lot of help along the way and for that I am blessed. But there is a part of me that longs to ease the demons of the past and heal myself. I want to be whole again.

But at what cost? What am I willing to pay to be whole again? Is there a price too high to pay? Can I pay it installments? Or must I bear it all at once?

I know I should probably sit down and talk to someone about these things. But my lack of trust in professionals won’t let that happen. Besides they learn out of textbooks and this is a reality. There are only a few people in my life who know the burden I bear and who can offer an unbias ear but why should I burden them with my demons?

And I know that there are some of you out there reading this who are going to want to help. I love you for that. I am happy don’t think that I am not but there are just some things I must take care of. Give me time.

Unitl tomorrow…

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