The Downside of Parenting…

Theres a lot of upsides to being a parent. I mean you do get to in a sense help to shape the next generation of this world, or at least a small part of it. You can hope that the things that you impart upon your children make a lasting impression on them and you can hope that they turn out to be happy and productive members of society. Thats what every parent wants and it is that hope that keeps us going through all the tough moments.

Me I have the joys of raising three beautiful and smart and talented daughters. They really are the apples of my eye. The best things in my life. But there are moments when I stop and wonder if I am doing them any justice as a parent.

I find myself getting after them about everything some days (while others things are just peachy.) I listen to myself and I think what a nag I have become. I try to use reward systems to get them to do the things that they need to be doing. It only goes so far. They follow it for a time and then it slowly looses their interest. I have tried taking away the things that they love and enjoy. They only move onto the next thing instead of being upset for loosing whatever it is.

Just feels like it is a never ending battle here. I no sooner pick up the pieces and do something that works and then here we go again— back to the same old routine.

And dont get me started on husbands and their roles around the house. Sometimes I wonder just how many kids live in my house.

I am the one who organizes things. I am the one who makes sure that everyone has everything they need. That everyone is where they need to be on time. I am the one who fixes mistakes. The one that makes sure everything gets done around the house. I am the one who everyone relies on for almost everything.

Dont worry we dont have to think about it, Mom will take care of it. And god help if I forget something. The world comes to a screeching halt and I have to some how think fast and make it better before a solid meltdown happens.

And it feels like no one understands the hell I live in some days. I have my own things that I want to do but by the end of the day I am so exhausted at taking care of everyone elses problems that I have nothing left to give to me. I just fall asleep on the couch watching some random program.

But at the end of the day I know I love my family and they know it too. That for all my bark I only want what is best for them. In time I hope that they will understand at least to some small degree what it means to be Mom.

And me I will go back to doing the best that I can.

Until tomorrow…

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